DFS Recapalooza: Top 5 (Fake) Storylines - March 12th

It was another week of good, bad, and strange headlines in the daily fantasy NBA Hemisphere. The Daily Fantasy Cafe's Recapalooza is truly the best way to embrace all three of those qualities.

Okay, enough with the obligatory introduction and shameless plug. I won't take up any more of your time in this section, and let you get to the meat and potatoes below.

Meat and Potatoes - (potatos? potatoes? yep...potatoes) - I have never really understood that expression. Yes, meat and potatoes is the "substance of dinner" and the body is the "substance of this article" ... Okay, maybe I do understand...but what if you're vegetarian? I can't separate the metaphorical meat from the metaphorical potatoes below; it's all lumped together.

That kind of bums me out, as I want everyone to enjoy the Recapalooza. Don't worry vegetarians, I'll get together with the editors and come up with a meat-free article next week - or at least some sort of alternative.

So much for the brief introduction...

Andrea Bargnani in “Happy Feet" takes home Vine of the Week

Ever since he was a young penguin, Andrea wanted to become a professional dancer. He finally worked up the skills (and courage) to showcase his routine on Utah's ROOT Sports channel (not quite ready for ESPN – plus the Knicks won't see national TV for quite some time).

Anyway, the performance didn't go according to plan, as Mr. Happy Feet quickly turned into a depressed pile of bones neatly arranged on the floor.

Don't give up though, Mr. Bargnani. Keep pursuing your dream. You will be on Dancing With the Stars in no time, along with all the other has beens.

Brandon Jennings is Reggie Jackson's mentor

Reggie Jackson was an innocent young man when he moved to Detroit. Whenever he received a spot-start, he usually put forth a reliable fantasy line. For that reason, daily fantasy enthusiasts where ecstatic when RJax was given the starting role in Detroit. In fact, he was the cover boy of our first ever Recapalooza – The Engine of Motor City.

However, things have taken a small turn for the worse in Detroit. In his best matchup to date, against the helpless Lakers backcourt, Jackson posted just 3.9 fantasy points.

It seemed like a random event. Players have bad games every once in a while, right? A closer look at the situation suggests that we should've seen it coming.

Recent reports from the Detroit beat writers indicate that Brandon Jennings has taken Reggie Jackson under his wing. Jennings, a notoriously volatile daily fantasy option, has been teaching Detroit's new PG the art of inconsistency.

On Wednesday, Jackson passed his first test with flying colors.

James Harden takes backseat to Corey Brewer, demands trade

Houston coach Kevin McHale filed a missing persons report in the second half of Wednesday's ESPN showcase at Portland. His SG, James Harden, had not been seen or heard from in over 20 minutes. Thankfully, the alert turned out to be a false alarm, as Harden was discovered pouting in Corey Brewer's shadow. Brewer scored 17 straight points in the fourth quarter, mounting a furious rally for the Rockets.

After the game, Harden indicated that he was upset with his current role in Houston.

“I've been through this once before…in Oklahoma City", Harden said. “I'm done being the second or third option. I need a team where I'm the star player, so I can pursue my ultimate goal of most fouls drawn in a single game … This team was mine, but then the front office had to bring in superstar Corey Brewer to steal the show. How wack is that?"

That is pretty wack, James. I'm sure if you had a glowing smile like Corey Brewer, your teammates would be more inclined to give you more touches.

Parker Brothers introduce new board game: “Alex Len Risk"

We all know young Centers are susceptible to foul trouble and inconsistencies. However, the risk associated with Alex Len has taken on a life of its own.

His erratic performance has inspired Parker Brothers to manufacture the spin-off of the classic game. In this version, the player (as Alex Len) has to battle foul trouble, fight for playing time, and avoid getting dunked on.

There's a twist though. You don't play offense in this game. You can only rebound from an inevitable attack, or try to block it. Needless to say, the odds aren't in your favor.

My review: 2/5 stars – I was willing to give this game a shot for the cheap price tag, as I only had $4.80 in my pocket, and all the other (quality) board games were much pricier. Now I know why. I was extremely disappointed in this game, and will probably never play it again.

Lucky Fan Gets “Ultimate NBA Experience"… In the face!

I love how the man in orange goes to deflect the pass. Had he made contact, the ball probably would've ended up in the other woman's face…which would have been equally hilarious (if not more).

Nobody on the Charlotte bench (especially the guy in glasses/tie) even turn around to see what's going on, as if this whole charade were scripted. Conspiracy?

The man in the Atlanta shirt is too worried with the Braves starting rotation to react in time.

The lady wearing the Kemba Walker jersey knows the camera is on her. She takes advantage of this opportunity, showing off some sweet dance moves. She decides to go with the classic “zombie lurch" from Michael Jackson's Thriller. MTV will be calling in no time.