DFS Recapalooza: Top 5 (Fake) Storylines - March 19th

By: Spencer Limbach, Updated April 07, 2015

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This edition of the DFS Recapalooza may have a slightly darker tone than usual. I'm sorry, that's my fault. I just watched the movie "Nightcrawler" with Jake Gyllenhaal, so I'm 100% convinced that dark, shock-and-awe headlines sell better than positive, upbeat messages.

It's worth noting that I also saw the Oscar nominee "Whiplash" last week, so now I'm certain that fear and physical violence is a key motivating tool. In order to push myself to become the best writer possible, I hired a bum down the street to throw trash and heckle me while I work on this draft. Please excuse the typos.

It goes without saying that I am a very impressionable person.

Anyway, before I ramble on about the insecurities that allow me to be easily persuaded (I told you this edition was going to be dark), let's cue up (google said it was "cue" not "queue", so don't bother calling me out on it) the Top 5 Storylines from this past week:

The Curious Case of Michael Carter-Williams

On Saturday, the “late scratch monster" reared its ugly head once again.

This time, Bucks PG Michael Carter-Williams was the subject, and he was a preferred pick coming off one of his better games in a while.

However, well after lineups locked for the evening, we found out Michael Carter-Williams wasn't going to play. I would say “it was announced", but that wouldn't be entirely accurate, as nothing indicated he may miss this game.

Daily Fantasy players who selected Carter-Williams were beside themselves. The Daily Fantasy Café field reporters were able to interview one of these unfortunate individuals, a man who goes by the DFS handle “boards_n_broads" (pictured above).

As you can see in the photo taken that night, this man regrets more than his t-shirt + tuxedo vest + beach bum necklace ensemble.

“The fix is on. Now I'm fully convinced of it", said 'boards_n_broads'. “Head coaches are just messing with us. The NBA has a conspiracy to let this injury news out after lineups lock. It's ridiculous, and the evidence is overwhelming."

'Boards_n_broads' raises some points, but they aren't good ones. I fail to see any incentive for the NBA, a league that has embraced DFS, to intentionally screw over DFS participants. It's probably just the coaches not wanting to tip their hand before the game, trying to catch the other team off-guard.

It's okay though, 'boards_n_broads', keep subscribing to this paranoid, self-referential thought process. Remember that joke you made about LeBron's hairline last week? Yeah, I wouldn't click him into your lineup any time soon, as he's just looking for an opportunity to get back at you.

Elfrid Payton joins All-Hair Team

Following Wednesday's triple-double performance on ESPN, Elfrid Payton has officially been accepted into the NBA's All-Hair team. Other current members of “Team Bosley" include:

James Harden

Most iconic beard in the NBA, hands down.

Iman Shumpert

There's only room for one flat-top on this team, and Shumpert reigns supreme. Sorry Nerlens Noel and Norris Cole.

Anthony Davis

Another trademark. Who says facial hair only counts from the nose down?

Elfrid Payton

Hasn't cut his hair since high school. Keep that high-rise going, young fella.

Jordan Hill

Barely beat out Boston big man Kelly Olynyk for the Center position. Hill's hair is a little more versatile though, as he can sport a sick two-foot tall beehive for any given game.

Team BOSLEY recently parted ways with “Swaggy P" Nick Young, claiming that he was trying too hard, no longer representing the team's core principle of salient natural hair.

Rajon Rondo in “Up in the Air" takes home Vine of the Week

Moral of the story: if you make enough fancy passes, one is bound to be pretty cool.

Daily Fantasy Angle: Maybe this will create the impression that Rondo is still a viable daily fantasy option. We can only hope…we can only hope.

DFS players look forward to predictability of MLB

Over the past several weeks, NBA teams have been randomly resting their players. Some have the noble intent of preservation for the playoffs, while other clubs really don't care anymore. It appears that some daily fantasy players share the same attitude.

Grumblings on message boards and twitter are getting louder. People are claiming they are done with NBA DFS for the season, getting bit by the aforementioned “late scratch monster" one too many times.

Our interview with 'boards_n_broads' earlier was only half the story. It turns out that many DFS enthusiasts are already gearing up for baseball due to their NBA misfortunes.

“I can't wait for baseball, where you actually know who is playing in every game…it's going to be such a relief", said one bitter DFS player who goes by 'hypocritical311'. “MLB is the best daily fantasy sport because of this".

I'm not quite sure if our friend is seeing this situation objectively. Let me put it to you this way: Imagine an NBA world where Quincy Pondexter could very realistically outscore LeBron James (by a wide margin) on any given night. If that happened twice in the same week, twitter would break and a flock of DFS players would swear off the NBA.

However, this situation is commonplace in MLB as Miguel Cabrera could go 0-4, and minimum salary Travis Ishikawa could go 3-4, 2 HR, 5 RBI. This is part of what makes MLB DFS fun, for some reason it is 100% unacceptable in the NBA.

The NBA to MLB movement is expected to gain traction throughout the upcoming month, then ultimately evolve into the “MLB is all luck, when does NFL start?" campaign as the summer goes along.